2. Resisting the lure of the Starbucks drive-thru
3. Waiting, in any way, shape or form
Those are not things I'm good at, especially number three. Right now it's even harder. I have a plan- I have a direction- I have everything but the greenlight. So I idle at the light, revving my engine, waiting.
"When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it." (W. Clement Stone) I feel the pull of my mission. It sparks purpose in my heart, the heat fanning to my mind, my hands, my feet, fueling an irresistable urge to act. Yet the action required of me is stillness.
God gives no great go-ahead, no open door, but charges, "Be still, and know that I am God."
My natural instinct is to act. To confront, to take on, to conquer, and never to lie down. To sit by seems to accede defeat, and defeat has never been an option. It's interesting how God always seems to test us at our weakest point. Perhaps the timing of the move has less to do with semester schedules than with learning a new way to trust Him. Will I trust God to walk with me in the waiting? It's easy to fight, to drive forward and push ahead, but waiting is surrendered control. Trusting Him to act for us. Hearing Him in silence and feeling Him in emptiness. It's faith.
God, help me trust you when the now seems overwhelming and the future far away. I trust your heart. Let your desires become my own. Be thou my strong habitation and the lifter up of mine head, my rock of refuge where I may continually resort. You are hope when I lose sight of it. I love you.
